Lindsay Lohan converts to Islam to beat alcohol and cocaine addictions

Note for WoP readers: Here is a comment full of anguish and awe from a fan of Lindsay Lohan.

“She did not do any murder. She should not have to stay in jail. She is very cool and talented. THIS IS UNFAIR..THIS IS VERY HARSH. IS THIS USA LAW OR WHAT.. THIS JUDGE REALLY HATE LINDSAY AND HER CAREER.. I think I cried more than her. I really love her songs (especially bossy songs), all movies and her fashion. This judgement is unfair. She should not have to stay in jail. She did not do any murder. This is like she is killing people. Is this US law? It’s a highly funny judgement I ever heard in my life. I think Judge really hates Lindsay and her career. The Judge destroyed her career. She is human being and she should have her job not the court orders. She is not normal person. She has a lot of things to do for her career (her job) and she is a very creative person. This kind of people should not be put in jail. Judge or whoever they are, cannot harm and hurt people like this. This is a wrong judgement. Judge should give her time to redress her mistakes. They cannot destroy and put in jail persons like this. Some people are killing people and they don't want stay in jail. Like India. A very famous actor he has done murder but judge didn't put him in jail because of his career. That's what the world needs. This is very poor judgement I ever ever heard. We love Lindsay very much. She is really cute and cool. Is this the human right of USA? Anyway WE ARE WITH YOU LINDSAY! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!WE PRAY FOR YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY! HOPE YOU WILL BE OK SOON! GOD BLESS YOU LINDSAY! Want to say " PEOPLE LIVE AND LET LIVE OTHERS TOO!!!!!!! DON"T DESTROY OTHER’S LIVES AND THEIR CAREER. NO ONE KNOWS HOW HARD TO WORK FOR

A CAREER. AND HOW THEY BALANCE WITH OTHER ISSUES!!!!!!!”

Wonder who is this Lindsay Lohan? Here is a brief on this US celebrity who is reported to have embraced Islam:

 Lindsay Lohan [born July 2, 1986] is an American actress, pop singer and model. She began her career as a child fashion model before making her motion picture debut in Disney's 1998 remake of The Parent Trap at the age of 11.

 Lohan gained further fame between 2003 and 2005 with leading roles in the films Freaky Friday, Mean Girls and Herbie: Fully Loaded, subsequently appearing in independent films including Robert Altman's A Prairie Home Companion and Emilio Estevez's Bobby.

Her career was interrupted in 2007 as two driving under the influence (DUI) incidents and three visits to drug rehabilitation facilities led to several lost movie deals. Resuming her career, she guest starred in the TV series Ugly Betty in 2008, starred in the 2009 comedy Labor Pains, and appeared in Robert Rodriguez's Machete in 2010. Lohan launched a second career in pop music in 2004 with the album Speak and followed up with A Little More Personal (Raw) in 2005. She has attracted significant publicity, particularly surrounding her personal life. [Nayyar]

by Karen Fish

People think that fame and fortune are the road to eternal happiness; this is the American Dream fostered by American Idol. Yesterday Michael Douglas visited his sister Lindsay Lohan at the Betty Ford Center on family day. At a press conference after the visit, Michael Douglas had this to say:
"I have just come from visiting my sister Lindsay Lohan at the Betty Ford Center. Lindsay is undergoing her fourteenth stint in rehab and again it doesn't seem to be working. I am now going to read you a letter from my sister Lindsay Lohan:"

Lindsay Lohan: "Dear World: Thank you all so much for your love, prayers and support. From the outside it looks like I have it all, fame, fortune and a happy go lucky party lifestyle. However, now I want to set the record straight."
Lindsay Lohan: "I sang a song called 'Confessions of a Broken Heart.' I realize now that if I had named it 'Daughter to Father' it would have been a huge hit. Hindsight is 20/20. In the song I tell the world that I have had a very depressing life up until this point. I grew up without a father who was in and out of jail when he wasn't working on Wall Street and in the spaghetti business with the Molinari brothers."

"My brother Michael Douglas is quite familiar with the gambling on Wall Street which has caused the world financial collapse. While I was growing up my father was in and out of jail. I grew up without a father. My parent's marriage was on and off and on and off and the yelling and screaming caused me tremendous pain which drove me to alcohol and cocaine to alleviate the pain. Unfortunately thealcohol and cocaine made my problems infinitely worse." 

Lindsay Lohan: "I don't want to end up like Marilyn Monroe and Anna Nicole Smith. In my song 'Daughter to Father' I sing, 'I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better.' Yesterday I had a Revelation. I was raised as a Catholic. Catholics give wine to their babies because they believe that it is the blood of God. I am an alcoholic, my father is an alcoholic and his father Richard was an alcoholic. We are a family of God blood drinking alcoholics."

"Yesterday I was visited by the Angel Gabriel who also visited the Madonna before the birth of baby Jesus and the Prophet Muhammad to whom he revealed the Koran. For my new album I have ditched Ne Yo and I am now collaborating with Cat Stevens. Cat Stevens converted to Islam and changed his name to Yusuf Islam. I am changing my name to Fatima Islam. Cat told me that the Koran forbids Muslims to drink or gamble. (Koran Sura 5:90-95)."

Linday Lohan: "The Koran calls drinking and gambling an abomination of Satan designed to sow hatred and strife among us. God knows there is plenty of strife and hatred in my own family and in the world today. 1.5 billion Muslim people cannot be wrong. The United States only has 300 million people. Even if every American voted 4 times they could still not outvote the Muslim people. Upon my release I will be making a pilgrimage to Mecca at the invitation of Saudi King Abdullah, who has offered to make me a Princess. Thank you all for coming. Allahu Akbar."

______

Source: The Spoof  

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